Ok so I was told I need to listen to a podcast called something like "The Parent Experiment". I'm not sure if it was supposed to be poignant or funny or what, but I lost interest about 10 minutes into it and it made me want to smack a ho. These two women (of whom I am giving ZERO credit for anything so you're not getting their names) were discussing the trials and tribulations of parenting. I'm thinking, "awesome I can so relate to this!" We have to laugh about parenting or else you cry. You cry because your whole life, all the hopes and dreams and ideals you had about life are no longer, your life now revolves around messy, unappreciative, demanding small sized people. When the fuck did that happen? Fucking hormonal biological clock motherfucker. Let me go back a second.
I have to preface this with the fact that I would never go back and change my life for a kid free life. The perspective I have gained being a parent has given me is something I would have never gotten and I don't care how experienced a person is in caring for children unless you have your own you still don't have that perspective. It's different, it's inexplicable and it's stupid, that's the best way I can put it. Well what the fuck, I never said parenting made me a wordsmith.
So back to this retarded Parent Experiment. These dumb (rich) bitches are discussing how exhausting parenting is (they each had two kids -hahaha, that's cute, toddlers could parent two kids, except they should use the the stove, but fuck I know a lot of lazy fucking parents that don't use the stove so I guess I stand by my initial opinion) and they've got a snarky tone going. That's what I'm looking for. I want someone to make me laugh and be able to relate to similar experiences. All is going fine and then this one stupid bitch has the audacity to say, "well I have some help in the mornings getting the kids off to school". UM WHAT? YOU HAVE "some help"? YOU HAVE TWO CHILDREN AND NO JOB YOU CRAPTASTIC WHORE what in the living fuck do you need help with? So help me god you better be a goddamn paraplegic or have shrapnel in your brain, because I don't know one single bitch that has "help" getting her kids off to school. Not only that, but none of the bitches I know have the audacity to say they are conducting a parent experiment. Oooooooh wait a gall darn minute here, maybe that's the problem. Oh ok, I get it now, those dickholes of a mom need "help" because they're too goddamn busy experimenting and not parenting. My fucking husband (and he's a FUCKING MAN) can get five kids out the fucking door every day without any goddamn help. Sheesh. Get real people or get off the fucking airwaves, you're ruining life for the rest of us.
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Hahaha If I had kids, I could totally relate... alas, I do not. But having grown up in a house of 4 kids with 1 mother and a dad he felt he had no business helping with the children, I hear you. Slap a rich bitch upside the head.
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